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Monthly Archives: December 2016

Tips to Find True Love

Tips #1: Make a list of what you want and don’t want in a guy.

Be very specific. Start by listing five traits that your ideal guy must and mustn’t have. You have to be practical and completely honest about yourself. Skip superficial traits like eye or skin color. Think of traits that really matter. Contrary to what most people think, finding true love isn’t all about making compromises. Rather, it’s about searching for that one person that complements you best.

You may think you don’t know what type of guy your ideal man would be but you do know it. You just have to look deep inside yourself. Consider, for instance, something that you can’t give up. Are you a dedicated bibliophile? If so, the guy you love must understand and respect your love for books and would never attempt to take it away from you.

Tips #2: You must share the same goals for the future.

Finding true love is also about searching for that one guy who wants the same things that you do. It doesn’t have to be completely the same but both of you should at least share the same vision for the future. If you’re the career-oriented type and you don’t really see yourself having any kids then your future partner must not have any problems with this. It’s not enough that he understands your decision. Rather, he must appreciate your decision as well because he feels the same way regardless of the reason.

Tips #3: You must enjoy each other company’s even without the passion.

Simply put, finding true love is akin to finding your best friend for life. It’s unfortunate that a lot of people fail to understand how some couples see each other as best friends. It only means that they haven’t experienced the same thing, which consequently means they haven’t found their destined partners either.

Passion is a key ingredient in relationships, yes, but it can’t be something that would completely consume your time. There will be instances when passion is not the right answer and what then? Do you find yourself bored? Those who are really into each other have fun with each other no matter what they’re doing and even if they aren’t speaking. They’re simply happy because they’re together.

Tips #4: Both of you must be lucky to have each other.

Finding true love is also about never settling for second best. You shouldn’t stay with a guy because you feel incredibly lucky to have him and you’d be a fool to give him up. That means you feel unworthy of him and you shouldn’t feel like that.

Way to get a Girlfriend

Plenty of young men are unsure of how to get a girlfriend. For some people, even just thinking of approaching somebody they are attracted to gives them severe anxiety and stress. There are so many ways to go about looking for a girlfriend that it is does not have to be a painful affair. The key is for men to stay true to their own identities and to acknowledge that while skill is one aspect of finding a girlfriend, timing is also another major component.

The first step in learning how to get a girlfriend involves intensive preparation. Men must learn to feel comfortable alone without coming off as desperate. Women want to see that you are a fun and intelligent person on your own. A man who wants a girlfriend needs to know that confidence is sexy. Foster this self-esteem by keeping up your physical appearance. Pay attention to subtle factors, like scent and teeth.

Once a guy has his preparation under way, meeting women is next. Online dating is one easy way to start for men who have had no luck at school or through friends. Upon meeting a woman, make a point of complimenting something about her. Women admire a man who is confident, but also sweet. Becoming a strong conversationalist and socializing with energy are important.

Once a man feels that he knows a woman well enough to know whether he wants to date her, the next step is to ask her out on a date. Close the deal casually by asking something along the lines of, “We have a lot in common and I would really like to get to know you better. Do you want to get some coffee with me next Thursday evening?” If she says no, move on and start again with another woman. If she says yes, proceed to the next step.

In preparation for the date, men should pick an interesting spot that allows for conversation. Choosing a restaurant or coffee shop with lots of space to sit and talk is important. While it was once popular to take a date to the movies, it is actually a bad idea for trying to get to know somebody new. If the date goes well, simply repeat the process by asking her out again. After several dates, the conversation of exclusivity should happen. Making the decision to become exclusive should be mutual and it should feel natural.

Way Improve Love And Relationships

Love in any relationship brings with it many expectations and much hope. Being loved unconditionally is the paramount dream of a great many people. When you are loved unconditionally it means you are accepted for whom and for what you are; having a sense of belonging and acceptance; the feeling of being protected and safe; but most of all it means deep rooted intimacy, romance and passion united by an everlasting bond.

But in time love and the relationship get onto the wrong pathway. Hope dies and in place of love comes anger, frustration and loneliness. During the honeymoon stage, the relationship is often based on lust and the illusion of you both becoming one. But in due course this magical image diminishes and the dream is broken. The fact is that the two people involved in a relationship are different. They have different needs, different expectations and different directions. However it is important to understand that the disenchantment that follows the discovery of this reality is expected, and is an unavoidable step on the pathway to finding true love and happiness. You just need to work on it.

Even with the best intentions, all relationships can gradually run down. Early pleasures become common place and boring, minor flaws become major faults, little eccentricities become really irritating. In order to counteract this it is advisable to surprise each other with new pleasures every now and again – the special complement, a card to say “I love you”, a walk along the beach, flowers or a candle lit dinner are just afew examples.

So how do you make love and relationships work? Is it commitment to the strength of your romantic dream; an alignment of your value systems; appropriate communication skills; or is it just matter of luck?

Some say that the success of love and relationships is directly related to the evolutionary theory and to leadership. Leadership is the secret to a successful relationship. Genetically men are programmed as leaders. It goes back to the caveman days and involves the hunter instinct. The hunter mode is very strong in men when they first meet a new girlfriend. They show off their leadership skills – they ask her out; they pay for the meal; they open the door; they ask for her hand in marriage. And women, because of their biological instincts, are subconsciously attracted to this behaviour – they fall heads over heals in love with this potential husband; this provider; this potential father of their children. The truth is that this genetic programming makes sure that mankind survives.

The secret to saving a marriage lies in building attraction, not in solving problems. It is a fact that woman are driven more by emotion than logic. Therefore men, if you are always apologizing, discussing, compromising, grovelling or begging, it is like water off a duck’s back – it just washes over a woman and may even kill the attraction you have for each other.

I am not saying that communication is not important. An effective leader will naturally have good relationship skill. In all relationship or leadership roles it is necessary to have good effective communication skills such as:

  • Effective listening skills – understand your partner and have empathy. Good listening makes certain that you keep in tune with your partner and see your relationship through their eyes. When you listen well to what your partner is saying you are actually saying that you care.
  • The ability to express your feelings properly, and the ability to understand your partner’s feeling without judgement. Be assertive rather than passive when communicating your emotions. It is important to really care about your partner’s feelings.
  • A clean communication style – avoid things like being judgemental, blame, accusations, put downs, threats, bringing up old history, negative comparisons. Address the action not the person.
  • Good negotiation skills – couples negotiate with their partner all the time. Negotiation is a process where both partners are involved in deciding how things in the relationship will be done, i.e. housework, bringing up children or taking a holiday. Negotiations need to be fair allowing both partners to achieve their goals without manipulation, hurt or regret.
  • A constructive, healthy conflict resolution method. Deal with old conflicts and resentments and put them to bed and then develop some strategies to deal with current problems effectively. Take time out if necessary to stop fights escalating into verbal or physical abuse.

It is also important to learn how to cope with anger, whether you are the aggressor or the victim, because anger damages intimate relationships. Anger, whether openly aggressive or disguised as passive aggressive, causes emotional scars which deteriorate with each outburst, which in turn has a detrimental effect on both intimacy and trust. Emotional abuse has the same effects as physical abuse on a person.

So what do you have to do to build attraction and to develop an appropriate “couple system” to save your marriage? You need to work on the male’s leadership skills and rekindle the hunter instinct in him so that he becomes that amazing, compelling, dynamic, charismatic leader she was attracted to at first. And then the female’s biology will take care of the rest. Your sex drive will be reactivated and you will both fall wildly madly in love again. Every argument can turn into a passionate love making session!

And the good thing is that it is never too early or too late to learn new skills which will help you to have the ideal relationship. Everyone needs to work on their relationship skills – new lovers, long term partners and partners who are already experiencing difficulties with their relationship even where all hope of keeping the love and the relationship alive has vanished.

Love and relationships takes hard work, but it is important to work smarter not harder on them to achieve a long, happy, passionate and successful relationship.

History of Valentine Day

Valentine’s Day is coming and has you dream to get a fantastic gift box from your lover? Every February 14, across the United States and in other places around the world, candy, flowers and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint, and where did these traditions come from?

Today Valentine’s Day is celebrated in many countries around the world, mostly in the west,, although it remains a working day in all of them. In the 5th or 6th century, a work called Passio Marii et Marthae invented a story of martyrdom for Saint Valentine of Rome, with apparently no basis on any historical fact. It claims that St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius2 in person. Claudius was impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman Paganism in order to save his life. Valentine refused and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. Because of this, he was executed. Before his execution, he is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer Asterius. A later Passio repeated the legend, adding the invention that Pope Julius1 built a church over his sepulcre (it’s a confusion with a 4th century tribune called Valentino who donated land to build a church at a time when Julius was a Pope).The legend was picked up as fact by later martyrologies, starting by Bede’s martyrology in the 8th century. It was repeated in the 13th century, in Legenda Aurea. The book expounded briefly the Early Medieval acta of several Saint Valentines, and this legend was assigned to the Valentine under 14 February.

Since Legenda Aurea still provided no connections whatsoever with sentimental love, appropriate lore has been embroidered in modern times to portray Valentine as a priest who refused an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men remain single. The Emperor supposedly did this to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail.

There is an additional modern embellishment to The Golden Legend, provided by American Greetings to History, and widely repeated despite having no historical basis whatsoever. On the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he would have written the first “valentine” card himself, addressed to the daughter of his jailer, who was no longer blind, signing as “From your Valentine.”

The rise of Internet popularity at the turn of the millennium is creating new traditions. Millions of people use modern means of creating and sending Valentine’s Day sending gifts such as jewelry case or a sleeping pillow and so on every year. An estimated 15 million e-valentines were sent in 2010. Valentine’s Day is considered by some to be a Hallmark Holiday due to its commercialization.